Club Of The Mediocre: Some Wicked Humor About Toyota Owners

  Many, after I remembered the problems of "real BMW waters", hoped to read something about another annoying bully. But I have a surprise for you. We do not notice these people, as well as their cars. But there are many, very, very many, because the brand of their cars is Toyota. And this means, imagine that such people grow by 8 million every year.

That is how many new Toyota cars are bought on the planet every year.

From the Editor:

Our editorial team loves all cars. In general, I subjectively consider the style of the modern Toyota line to be very successful, and I am also infinitely grateful to this Japanese brand for its loyalty to simple archaic designs. And some Kolesa journalists. ru were or still are toyotovodami! I hope that they, as well as other Toyota owners, laugh at themselves heartily.

If, of course, they recognize it from the description and do not hesitate to admit it to themselves.

The outstanding popularity is based on several whales, the main of which are reliability, convenience and comprehensiveness. And the emphasis on these qualities attracts a very specific type of people with whom each of us came across and carefully tried not to notice. Anyone for whom owning a car seems too troublesome, agrees to a substitution and acquires a Toyota. It's like an indulgence from all the sins of a motorist: you only needpartake of the Holy Communionand pay for maintenance every 10 thousand kilometers.

And at the same time, it seems, relieves of many remorse, compassion, sympathy, and even a bit of adequacy. After all, they are no match for us, mere mortal motorists.

Club of the mediocre: some wicked humor about Toyota owners

You oftenlockin the parking lot? Have you noticed how often people do this in a car with an oval emblem? They really do not feel like a driver, and a car - some kind of obstacle. All this is a sure indicator that in front of you is one of the people who did not want a car, he bought a Toyota. And it's not about "independent girls" of about forty, who are very fond of cars with a name so similar to the name of the old Latvian minibus .

And not even in the impudent hired drivers of black Camry, for whom we are all just faceless traffic. The "masters of life" on the Land Cruiser all the more behave as if there are no more cars and drivers around, but only some kind of simulation of reality.

Try to understand and forgive them all: they don’t want to drive the car at all, they don’t want to engage in its maintenance, suffer from the constant loss of the cost of the car and eternal fuel costs. They do not understand those who, instead of Toyota or movement by public transport, buy something complicated and fast for themselves, about whose reliability experienced aksakals do not whisper in garages. Just try not to notice them and catch an infection.

The worst thing you can do is try to convince the driver that the other car is also comfortable, that it doesn't break down every fifteen minutes and that driving it is often just more interesting.

Try not to do anything even similar to the owners of not very old Land Cruisers - they can also cripple! You can still be ironic about the owners of Ranges - often they will perceive it as normal. But if in front of you is a TLC 200 or even someone from the venerable age of "sotochki", then it is better not - they can get a firearm and start actively using it. In no case do not hint to "cruise drivers" about problems with the transfer case, automatic transmission overheating and other unpleasant little things - they will not understand you, if they know such words at all. These people can live only knowing that their car is perfect.

And everyone around them is also sure of this.

Try not to transport Toyota drivers in your car if your psyche is not strong enough. You run the risk of hearing stories about hundreds of thousands of kilometers traveled without repair and oil change, about real Japanese quality, and a couple more everyday stories. God forbid, your car is more comfortable than a Toyota driver! He will torture you, finding out what is wrong with the car, and rest assured - he will find it! Most likely, it turns out that your car is too new, or too expensive, or eats a lot of gasoline, and in general it is not perfect. This will help preserve his mental state prior to reuniting with Toyota.

An equally terrible crime will be, when traveling in Toyota as a passenger, to clarify whether the car has broken down and how old it is. Remember once and for all: all Toyota does not break, and she is as old as she looks, but not more than six months. Remember that if a part needs to be replaced with a contract , then this is not a breakdown! It's just that all owners of cars of this brand tend to strive for perfection, and they often change units simply because they are bored with the old one. Do not specify what it means "nothing breaks for N kilometers." It is quite possible that the engine was changed a month ago, and the box - last week, just the old ones were still working and were even sold to another Toyota driver, who, unfortunately, lives a little to the west.

By the way, pay attention to the fact that in the eastern part of our country, most of the Toyota breeders are also "prouders" in combination, and therefore communicate with them more difficult.

Forget about such a phrase as "steering wheel in the glove compartment". To say this out loud to the east of the Ural Mountains means. ..

seriously risk his life.

But in general, atypical Toyota breeders also live there, who have several more arguments for "does not break" and "imperial quality". For an attempt to argue on this topic, they can send you to the Urals in 24 hours. But at the same time, they extol such simple motorist values ​​as power and comfort much more than their "left" counterparts. It's just that their right-hand drive Toyota is more reminiscent of lordly Lexus or, in general, is not familiar to a normal European.

Moreover, at first glance, a completely understandable model may turn out to be completely incomprehensible, with different engines and interior. And with the steering wheel in the glove compartment.

Club of the mediocre: some wicked humor about Toyota owners

In a conversation with Toyota drivers, you can often hear the phrases "1 zeze", "veze" and other "de 4". You should use them yourself with caution! However, in any decent society of Toyota lovers you will be supported if you say something good about "jayzet" or just "1 G". Well, you need to understand and understand - just remember these words as charm spells.

The iconic Toyota driver is confident that there are "Toyota and other cars" in the world, although the word "cars" in this context is usually used out of politeness. If the driver is ill-mannered, then instead of this word he can use something more emotionally colored and derogatory. Take this philosophically. Imagine: there are individuals who have managed to change a small car for a crossover, a crossover for a sedan, a sedan for an SUV, an SUV for a sports coupe and a limousine, and at the same time never even thought that it was possible to buy something other than Toyota.

It is impossible not to say about the behavior on the road of a typical Toyota lover.

Such a driver usually believes that since he does not have a car, but a Toyota, then he does not need to drive him like a car. You can drive in the middle of two lanes, not look at the signs, park anywhere. It seems that a combination of boredom at the wheel, a slight detachment in management and a general unwillingness to come to terms with the fact that this is a car, and you need to drive it to move from point A to point B, affects it.

Club of the mediocre: some wicked humor about Toyota owners

Did you see this on the road? Pretend you ignore him too. This will bring his picture of the world into balance.

Try to also drive between lanes at the speed of a pedestrian, the driver may decide that he should do the opposite and will accidentally do the right thing. Do not try to listen to his conscience through closed windows or take him out of yourself with sudden braking. This is a completely wrong line of conduct.

Well, as for the pros - yes, Toyota's reliability is impressive, although there is nothing phenomenal about it, and rumors, as always, are greatly exaggerated. Toyota maintenance every 10 thousand kilometers is actually correct, and if you love your car, then you need to change the oil in the engine and filters more often than the regulations prescribe.

Club of the mediocre: some wicked humor about Toyota owners

As always, it is not the car that amuses and surprises, but its audience. It is difficult for me to understand the attachment to four-wheeled pets of often controversial appearance, always stolen and objectively expensive to maintain. What is the point of being reliable if the operating cost is higher than that of many non-budget brands?

Finally, I don't quite understand those who voluntarily buy some of the most boring cars in the world. Just do not rush to tell me that Toyota drivers drive completely different cars, and some of them wow! There are such cars, but you know ..

. It seems that they are bought by casual car enthusiasts, and not by Toyota drivers. And why the company still produces such models is absolutely incomprehensible.


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